Tuesday, February 26, 2008

If You're Anything Like Me...

...you're really impressed by the guitar player on American Idol. Never overly flashly, but always on and always cool. He has a wide range of tones, works well in the background and on lead, and has the coolest job in America (so says I). His name is Paul Jackson Jr.

...you are sick and tired of thinking about Pierre Bourdieu and field theory. But lucky for me, I'm almost half-way through the semester. Besides a 10-page mid-term and 1,000 pages of reading to go, I only have a 30-page research paper to write. And I signed up for all this voluntarily. Whoopee.

...you liked the songs from Once the first time, but not so much after that. I'm glad they won the Oscar (it was the best song), but come on. Lighten up!

...you bought new socks and underwear just so you wouldn't have to do laundry on a weeknight.

...you watched SNL's first shown since the show but were a bit disappointed. After 3.5 months of nothing to do, all they could muster was some bad impressions and lame one-punchline skits. But there were 2 HUGE highlights:

1. Tina Fey's rant on Weekend Update. Sure, it was pro-Hillary. But it was also smart, insightful, relavent and genuinely funny. Damn, I miss her. "Bitch is the new black!"

2. Carrie Underwood rocked! I'm not a huge fan, but she was amazing. She has a great band behind her, she sings great songs, she's hot, and she helped the Cowboys lose in overtime during the playoffs. Hubba hubba.

Monday, February 25, 2008

I Cleaned My Phone!

Sick of the dirty, dusty screen on your Razr phone? I was, I found this site and cleaned my phone. It as good as used:

1. Get a pin with a sharp head. You can use a sewing needle.
2. Wedge the pin under the top corner of the screen.
3. Apply pressure, and lift up the corner of the thin plastic screen (it is usually stuck down with a bit of glue). If you just so happen to break the screen, because you're overly excited about cleaning your screen, you can find a cheap replacement screen at a cell phone store.
4. Take a card like a credit card and place it under the corner you just lifted from the screen. Slowly slide the card downwards, then left. Continue all the way around the screen
5. Use a good quality cloth to wipe the screen and the plastic screen you just removed. (I had to use
6. Put the plastic screen back into place, and apply firm pressure for a few seconds. (Yes, it will stick again.)

Consumer Opinions

Check out www.expotv.com.

It's a cool site where you can see consumers reviewing their favorite products. It's great to see what other people think of a product before you buy it.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Little Known Naval History

The U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers!).

However, let it be noted that according to her ship's log, 'On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of f resh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum.'

Her mission: 'To destroy and harass English shipping.' Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships, salvaging only the rum aboard each.

By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.

The U.S.S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whiskey, and 38,600 gallons of water.


Bad Day at the Office?

It could be worse.

Monday, February 11, 2008


Obama was in all of the top 3 NY Times editorials today. Just coming off a successful weekend, winning 2 states, he's everywhere! Paul Krugman's article summed up my thoughts on the whole situation.

Beleive it or not, I am still undecided. I'd be happy with either Democratic candidate in the office. I don't beleive that Hillary is unelectable, nor that Obama is the only hope for the future. He's still a rookie and is largely untested in a big election or policy debate.

A few Krugman quotes I want to highlight. I use these quotes not to hide my opinion but to shield myself from the incredulous, disagreeing Obamites:

"I believe that Hillary Clinton is more serious about achieving universal health care, and that Barack Obama has staked out positions that will undermine his own efforts."

"Most of the venom I see is coming from supporters of Mr. Obama, who want their hero or nobody. I’m not the first to point out that the Obama campaign seems dangerously close to becoming a cult of personality."

"Mrs. Clinton’s entirely reasonable remark that it took L.B.J.’s political courage and skills to bring Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream to fruition was cast as some kind of outrageous denigration of Dr. King."

"Mrs. Clinton may yet be the nominee — and if Obama supporters care about anything beyond hero worship, they should want to see her win in November."

One thing I am sick of is seeing Hillary crying on the campaign trail. Yeah, I'll trust you and your hormones with the nuclear launch code!

Like the New Look?

I don't. Harley decided to revise my template. I chose the brown one just to upset her (she frowns on brown). It may change again, just as soon as The Wonder Pets is over. It may take longer than it should. Just like the clean socks that have been waiting to be folded for the last 36 hours.

The whole point of the template change was to put links to other blogs on the side. We couldn't figure it out. Brian, tell us how it is done.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My New Concoction

A Drunken Monkey
- a little peach schnapps
- a little more tequilla
- fill the rest of the glass with banana nectar

Mmmm... a few of these make watching Diego and Dora much more tolerable.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Thoughts on Lost

As discussed with Jen Simon:

- So Ben has a contact on the boat? Who could that be? Jen thinks it's Michael (Walt's dad). His name was in the credits, and it would tie him and Walt back into the story. But how did he get there? Why is he now working for these people?
- The Asian guy that can talk to dead people is on the island to communicate with Jacob, in the cabin.
- Sawyer is hot (thanks, Jen).
- How did Hurley know about the cabin? Locke was shocked, as he felt he was the only one besides Ben who could see it. Remember, Hurley saw it then he didn't. Is he going crazy, or is he more in tune with the island than we thoughts?
- Be said "They want me." Well WHY??!?!? Jack gave the Asian guy the phone if he told them why they were there, but they never said why they were there! This is where the show gets really annoying. The ask the questions and you expect answers but you end up with bupkis.

I'm in Trouble

"We're redoing the bedroom. You have no idea."
- my wife


"I need to project something tomorrow, but I don't have a dongle."

"I heard you have a dongle, but it's just really small."

"If that's what your wife said, don't believe it."

"Are you calling my wife a liar?"

A conversation I had with a co-worker. A "dongle" is a wire that connects the computer to the projector. We need them for meetings but can never find them

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Mazel Tov, M@ther F*cker!

Quote of the Weekend

"Nilda never has dinner on the table when I come home. I guess she doesn't have time to get around to it."

- Brian Heller

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Weather or Not

It's fucking hot out there today. I just want it to snow once before Spring. This could be the lamest blog ever.

Monday, February 04, 2008


What better way to waste the first 15 minutes on the Monday after Superbowl than by taking this geography test? I didn't make it past the 9th level, but I have to get to work anyway.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Superbowl Pick

Patriots: 32-30

I think the Giants will be in the lead (or close to it) for most of the game. They will come back in the 4th quarter to win. It will be much like the last time these 2 teams met at the end of this regular season.

The Giants will be able to win only if the can hold on to the ball long enough in the 4th quarter to keep the Pats offense off the field. If Tom Brady get's the ball, he'll score. That said, we could see a last minute interception, just like in the Gian'ts game against Green Bay. Brady is due for a screw up.

It will be a great game, and I will eat many wings.

Out of Into the Wild

We watched Into the Wild last night. It was really good, but I was surprisingly disturbed by it.

1. This kid should have called home. Just like after I read the book, my primary sympathies were with the parents. This guy abandoned his family in search of something he chose to leave undefined. I found it incredibly selfish and cold-hearted. If he had lived, he might not look like such a remarkable young man but more of an *sshole.

2. As expected, Sean Penn is a widly self-indulgent director. The moive did not have to be 2.5 hours long. After 1 hour, we started groaning about how much was left to watch. How may times do we have to see him climb some hill and look around?!? Sean, you are not the savior of American cinema. Deal.

3. Eddie Vedder's voice once meant a lot to me. Now it's just irritatingly self-important. Much like Sean Penn himself!

4. The way this kid died is very sad. Tired, alone, and weak. I don't really relate to him and his struggle, but it is sad to see anyone go like that, especially knowing people that loved him had no idea.

All in all, it was a good movie witha few fatal flaws. It had beautiful scenery, told the story very well, and tried to embody the values this guy lived his life by. But since this guy never really told anybody what he was doing or why, and died before he could finish, it remains a story only half told.

Friday, February 01, 2008

"I'm F*cking Matt Damon"

Funny stuff!

Thank you, Jen Simon. You're endless wanderings on YouTube have finally produced results! Now get back to looking like you're working.