Make Your Own Album Cover

In case you haven't noticed, this is going all over Facebook:

1. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random - The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 - The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ - The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result. Ask someone else to play, if you want. The cover should be 4.75" by 4.75."

Here's mine:

I got a vertical picture (which doesn't translate too well to a square) of a very normal high-school girl. I liked this title. I wanted to go with a fractured look, reflecting the fractured identity the goes along with the confusion of high school. HAHAHA!

Now Go Get Yer Shinebox!

I got my shoes shined yesterday. There's a shoemaker in the Empire State Building with an old-fashioned shoe-shine spot. I go everyone few months, when my shoes looks really bad.

I love getting my shoes shined. LOVE IT! I walk out amazed at how shiny they became, like they've been resurrected from the dead. It's like getting new shoes without having to untie them.

Perhaps I should learn to tie my own shoes. Arnold Vinnick, Republican Presidential candidate on The West Wing says you can't trust a man who doesn't tie his own shoes. Well, sir, I say you can't trust the opinions of an imaginary character (and a Republican nonetheless!!!).

Besides, it's a $3 shine (before tip) and my time is better served elsewhere. I think this is the reason Brian refuses to make his own ice (but I don't get that either).

P.S. Does anyone know what movie the title of this posting refers to? You'll kick yourself when I tell you.

Seasonal Business

This picture was taken in Chicago, IL on January 23, 2009. I was in a cab on the way back to the airport at 3pm CST. It was 8 degrees outside.

Maxim

Harley recently got me a free subscription to Maxim. Don't ask me how, she just gets these things. Must be all that time doing surveys, she'll say. Check the comments, she'll say it herself. (Yes honey, it's not a waste of time. Thank you for your service.)

My bathroom reading material has been low. Guitar Player hasn't come in months (honey, can you get on that?) and I am so over Business Week (another free subscription).

Maxim came at just the right time. In this last issue, there was a bikini pictorial and articles about the McRib sandwich and the history of MMA. Woohoo!!

Tropicana

My company did the old (and now new-again) packaging. This is awesome.

Thoughts on a Saturday Night

I'm getting older. I know this because I've started saying things like "I want to keep learning to better myself." I never used to understand that phrase. Now I use it all all the time. I think it's because I've realized that I've got a long way to go until retirement, and I'd like to fuck up as little as possible between now and then. I'd like to walk away from every bad situation with at least one piece of wisdom.

To enjoy the true flavor of a Kraft Caramel, it must be chewed. It has a waxy, stale flavor when it first goes in your mouth. Chewing helps release its magical flavor.

Harley says acupuncture feels like a little burst of energy in your skin. She says I'd think it feels like a sting. She is most definitely correct.

I have to write a 5-page paper and a 10-page mid-term in the next 3 weeks. Oh yeah, and I'm going to have a kid this week. That's going to be fun.

I bought a pint of Ben & Jerry's on Friday night. When I got home, I realized that I had somehow picked up "Everything But The..." instead of the intended "Phish Food." This is upsetting. I work in packaging and should be something of an expert in this. Not only did I pick up the wrong flavor, but I worked on that redesign! I reviewed the artwork for every single flavor. See that chocolate covered almond and the heath bar bit? I had to approve it before we released the artwork. I guess the shelf is a great equalizer.

Ben & Jerry's "Everything But The..." isn't very good. It's a mix of chocolate and vanilla ice cream. It's not creamy enough or rich enough, more of a bland in-between. And all the chunks (they're called inclusions) don't work together. Just when I'm getting to like the white fudge, the peanut butter cups get in the way.

Know what flavor would have been good? Phish Food!

I'm still happy with my decision not to make my own ice cream. Maybe when I'm on paternity I'll try it again.

It's past midnight. I'm too tired for the beer I've been looking forward to. I'm cranky. I just want to watch a West Wing and go to bed. But I have to be a dutiful husband and rub my wife's feet. I will not be happy about it.

New Kraft Foods Logo

Kraft Foods just announced their brand new corporate logo.


It looks shockingly and illegally close to the European Yoplait logo.


Keep an eye out for the ensuing lawsuit that is sure to come.

Does anyone really think that a new logo is going to make Kraft more relevant and increase sales? Kraft is a house of brands, an umbrella for products with powerful identities of their own. Maybe replacing the umbrella will help protect them, but I would think they'd be better off leveraging the brands that consumers already know.

Genius Idea of the Day

I told my local bagel place this, but I don't think they took me seriously.

Change the name of the "Plain" bagels to "Original."

Plain has terrible connotations, like bland and boring. Original sounds much more authentic, like the real deal. And they looked AMAZING.

It's Not You, It's Me

Listen, we need to talk. I know we haven't been spending a lot of time together. When we do, it's been kind of awkward, like we both aren't sure if this is where we want to be. I think you know what I mean.

We've grown apart. Some of your decisions have seemed strange to me, but I've tried to look past them and remember why we loved each other so much in the first place. But you've changed, and I've changed too.

We've tried to get back into our groove a couple times, but after our "time off" this winter things just never got back to where they were. It seems like we're going through all the same things we did 3 years ago and not learning from the mistakes we just made. I can't do this anymore.

So, I have decided to stop watching Heroes. and find a show that is looking for something serious, a show willing to change for the sake of something more fulfilling than cheap thrills. Peter and all the Petrellis can suck it. The cheerleader can suck it. Sylar can suck it. The hot blond played by Ali Larter? She can suck it too, but I mean that one in a good way.

Cool Videos

GUITAR IMPOSSIBLE
Apparently, this guy can't play guitar. Instead, he videotapes himself playing notes and edits them together to make a video of himself playing Motzart. Over 1000 cuts. 6 hours of guitar tabbing. 1 hour of shooting. God knows how much editing.




FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS
Awesomeness!



DUREX COMMERCIALS
I'm pretty sure these are real, but not for the US market. If you like this, check out the out-takes on YouTube.

Ice Cream You Scream

Ben & Jerry created the "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama. For George W. they they asked for suggestions from the public. Here are some of their favorite responses:

- Grape Depression
- The Housing Crunch
- Abu Grape
- Cluster Fudge
- Nut'n Accomplished
- Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker... Swirl
- Iraqi Road
- Chock 'n Awe
- WireTapioca
- Impeach Cobbler
- Guantanmallow
- imPeachmint
- Heck of a Job, Brownie!
- Neocon Politan
- RockyRoad to Fascism
- The Reese's-cession
- Cookie D'oh!
- Nougalar Proliferation
- Death by Chocolate... and Torture
- Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
- Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
- Credit Crunch
- Mission Pecanplished
- Country Pumpkin
- Chunky Monkey in Chief
- WMDelicious
- Chocolate Chimp
- Bloody Sundae
- Caramel Preemptive Stripe

I didn't write these, but I could have written them!

More Steve Martin Banjo

In keeping woth Brian's blogs, here's a video of Steve Martin performing "The Crow," a song he wrote and the title track to Steve's new bluegrass album. Bela Fleck takes the last solo, and he is awesome.

Coke Quietly Dropping "Classic"

The Coca-Cola Co. began adding the word "Classic" to cans in 1985 to distinguish Coke Classic from another version of Coke. The font size of "Classic" has gotten smaller over the years, and because the other version no longer exists, the word will be phased out by summer.