Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Matrimonial Mess

I'm a few weeks behind, but I just saw the Miss California vs. Perez Hilton video.

It's the final 5 of the Miss America contest. Miss California has to answer one question and picks a name out of a hat. It's Perez Hilton, gay blogger extraordinaire. He asks her about gay marriage. She answers that in her country, in her family, marriage is between a man and a woman. She get some boos and some applause. Later Perez calls her a cunt. 24 hours later, he calls her a cunt again. She goes on CNN too defend herself.

I think Perez is wrong. He might not like her answer, but you can't launch a personal attack on someone just because they have different views than you. It's reverse discrimination. It may not his America, but it is hers. This most likely cost her the crown, and that took guts. That has to be acknowledged. She stood up there, said what she thought even though she knew it would cost her. That's character, to me.

I believe that everyone should be able to spend the rest of their lives with whomever they want. I believe the government has no place judging which relationship is valid and which ones aren't. At the same time, the concept of "gay marriage" is a bit foreign to me. Marriage is a ceremony, an industry that builds of a tradition. Two grooms, two brides, it breaks the whole format of a wedding. Something's off for me.

But I have no right to tell anyone else what they want or can/cannot have! Two dudes want to do invitations, locations, caterers, seating charts, and deal with all the hassle that comes with it, they have every right to do so. They should be able to marry and get all the benefits and grief that I am enjoying with my gorgeous wife.

Here's my thought, which I got from a friend's Facebook update: the government no longer issues marriage certificates but civil unions. Take government out of marriage. Couples can still have the ceremony and all the legal benefits, but it's no longer call a "marriage." This levels the field for any 2 people to join their lives together in the eyes of the government.

Marriage, in this scenario, becomes just a religious ceremony. You can have a Jewish ceremony, a Catholic Mass, a whatever-the-two-families-can-agree-on. I've been to 2 ceremonies where 2 religions are represented, and both were wonderful (I'm talking about you, Tombacks and Heller/Del Valles!). If you're not religious, then have the ceremony and all that shit.

This is a shift in nomenclature, not significance. It can still be called a wedding. It doesn't redefine marriage, it makes it irrelevant for governmental purposes. Some might see this as a little shocking. Some might say it demeans the whole concept of marriage. Maybe, but it takes God out of it and opens the door for true equality. Now, it's just about the benefits. But if you need the government to validate your relationship, then you have much bigger problems my friend.

Let the barrage of comments begin...

P.S. Happy anniversary Caryn & Forrest / Brian & Nilda!!


TheMediaDude said...

And by "barrage of comments," I meant none.

Boywonderesq said...

Are we still talking about this? I thought this was last week...

I'll admit that while I disagree with her answer, she showed some balls in saying it.

your sil said...

good post!