Thursday, August 06, 2009

Fatty Boombalatty, Part. 2

In keeping with today's theme, here's another gem:

This guy takes cheap, easy fast food and shows ways to transform it into a gourmet-looking meal. Crazy stuff. My boss's friend did this, and the guy's in talks about a book and maybe a TV show. I'd watch it!

Boston Krème Brûlée & Fruit Tart (Fancy Dunkin’ Donuts)
Boston Krème Brûlée & Fruit Tart (Fancy Dunkin’ Donuts) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food Ingredients:  8 Boston Kreme donuts 3 Strawberry-Filled donuts 1 Vanilla Kreme donut 1 bottle of water 1 cappuccino packets of sugar organic mint leaves (for garnish and a touch of irony)   Using a bread knife, cut open each of the dozen donuts to expose its filling.  Scoop out all of the custard filling from the Boston Kreme donuts into a fancy ramekin. Then, even off the top and let it chill in the refrigerator for a while.Time to make the fruit tart… Place some donut halves into a food processor and add about two capfuls of the bottled water for every two full donuts.  Blend it all down until it becomes a doughy paste.  Mold the dough into a mini tart/quiche pan, then bake in a pre-heated oven for ten minutes at 425° F.  After it cools down to room temperature, scoop out all the strawberry filling from the Strawberry-Filled donuts onto the tart crust.  Top it off with a dollop of vanilla cream from the Vanilla Kreme donut.Once the ramekin of custard is chilled, sprinkle a layer of sugar on top.  Then, using a kitchen torch — man, they are awesome — carmelize the sugar until it becomes a brown shell.  Garnish it with the organic mint leaves, and voilà!  With the fancy fruit tart and the cappuccino served in a fancy cup, now America runs on crème brûlée! Ouais!

All made from Dunkin Donuts. The creme brulee is made from the Boston Creme filling.The tart shell is made the donut shells in the food processor, and the tart filling is from strawberry donuts.

Wendy’s Napoleon (Fancy Baconator Combo)
Wendy’s Napoleon (Fancy Baconator Combo) by Adrian Fiorino of Ingredients:  1 Wendy’s Baconator 1 large fries 1 small Coke 1 botte of water 2 little cups (or packets) of ketchup  12 sugar packets  Disassemble the burger. The cheese may not separate from the meat, but that’s okay. Place the bun in a food processor with 2 tbsp of water and pulse until it resembles couscous. Set aside. Do the same with the fries until it becomes a paste.Chop the burgers (cheese and all) into pieces with a knife. Place in a food processor and pulse until they look like pate.To create the Napoleon, cut the french fry container so the top is level. Pack alternating layers of the minced meat, the mashed potato paste, and the bun-turned-“couscous” into the container until it is full. Invert over a plate and wiggle until it is loose.For the spun sugar garnish, empty twelve packets of sugar into a heavy-bottom saucepan with 1/4 cup of water over medium heat. While stirring, cook mixture until it is a deep brown color (10-15 minutes). Remove from heat and allow to sit 1 min. Over foil, gently flick the sugar back and forth to create a strand-like design.To make the sauce, put 1/2 cup of Coke and the ketchup into a pan over medium heat. Reduce for five minutes.Next, crisp up the bacon in a pan for two minutes over medium heat before chopping it into little pieces.To assemble, gently separate sugar garnish from foil and stick it in the top of the Napoleon. Pour sauce around the Napoleon and then form 4 little piles of bacon around the edges of the plate.Pour some of the remaining Coke in a wine glass, and there it is: a Fancy Baconator Combo that you might think is waaaay better than the original!
Take a Wedny's Baconator. Put the meat into a food processor and make a paste. Do the same with the bun and the fries. Cut off the bottom of the fry cup (it's circular) and use it as a mold to create alternating layers of meat and fries/buns. Reduce the Coke by boiling it to make the sauce. Cut the bacon into tiny bits and use as garnish.

Here are some other ones. I won't explain how to make them because I'm lazy.

Dao Mi Noh Chow Mein (Fancy Domino’s Pizza)
Dao Mi Noh Chow Mein (Fancy Domino’s Pizza) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food with his brother Mark Ingredients (for vegetarian option):  1 large Domino’s American Legends Pacific Veggie Pizza (default order customized with light cheese, green peppers added, and no provolone, parmesan, or feta cheeses) 1 two-liter bottle of Diet Coke  This Fancy Fast Food dish requires “hoisin sauce” derived from the dark syrup of Diet Coke, so first pour 1 1/2 cups of it into a wok. Place on medium heat and let the water evaporate as you prepare the other items.Pick off all the vegetable toppings from the pizza pie. While you don’t have to separate all of them by type, make sure you separate out the spinach, as it will be used for the garnish. Next, using a pizza slicer, slice thin strips of crust to make the “noodles.” Gather them all and rinse in a colander. Place them in a pile onto a white plate.When the Diet Coke is evaporated down to about 2-3 tbsp. of “hoisin sauce,” add the green peppers, red peppers, olives, mushrooms, onions, and tomatoes to the wok. Sautée and stir fry all the ingredients until they’re all mixed together, then spoon them over the noodles.  Garnish with spinach and serve with chopsticks and Diet Coke in a stemless wine glass.  And there you have it, Dao Mi Noh Chow Mein in thirty minutes or more!

Spicy Chicken Sushi (Fancy Popeyes Chicken)
Spicy Chicken Sushi (Fancy Popeyes Chicken) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food Ingredients:  1 two-piece Popeyes Bonafide spicy fried chicken dinner (breast and wing), with a biscuit, a side of cole slaw, and a large Coke (no ice) 1 Loaded Chicken Wrap 1 large order of red beans and rice packets of Popeyes Louisiana hot sauce wasabi paste (for garnish)  This Fancy Fast Food dish requires the dark syrup from Coca-Cola, so first pour the Coke into a non-stick saucepan. Place on medium heat and let the water evaporate as you prepare the other items. Unwrap the Loaded Chicken Wrap and remove the chicken tender. As best as you can, separate the rice from the red beans remaining in the wrap and place the two items into two separate bowls. Add to these bowls the rice from the red beans from the large side order as well.  Rinse the rice in a colander and pick out the remaining red beans. Dry the rice in a paper towel and let it air out for a while. Rinse the tortilla wrap, and then cut off its rounded edges to make a rectangle. Next, cut the tip off the chicken tender (about 2”), then skin and bone the rest, along with the chicken breast and wing. Using the biggest masses of white meat from the chicken tender and chicken breast, cut out four little slabs of chicken. Then take all the remaining chicken and chop it finely. Add the chopped chicken into the bowl of red beans; add hot sauce from the packets to your liking. Mix it all into a consistent paste. Once the Coke has been evaporated to a thick syrup, place the wrap into the saucepan to dye it a darker brown. When enough of the syrup has infused with the wrap, place it face down on a bamboo sushi roller.  Then add a layer of rice on top of that, followed by a strip of the chicken/bean mix in the center of the wrap.  Roll the wrap into the shape of a maki roll, cut off the ends, and then cut the roll into six equal parts - you have just cut “mocki” rolls!  A lot of the syrup coloring may have rubbed off during this process, so re-apply the coloring to each piece with a pastry brush. Cut the edges off the buttermilk biscuit, then cut in half to make to rectangular pieces. Slice those two pieces laterally to make four rectangular pieces of about equal size. Place the four pieces of chicken on each of the four biscuit pieces. Drain and rinse the cole slaw in a colander. Now assemble the presentation! Place the six cut “mocki” rolls on the platter. In one of them insert the tip of the chicken tender, like Japanese chefs do with the end of a shrimp tempura or spider roll. Accentuate the center of each roll piece with a bean and more hot sauce. Place the four chicken and biscuit “sushi” pieces onto the platter, then drizzle and glaze them with more of the Coke syrup. Garnish with a pile of cole slaw and a dab of wasabi paste, then serve it with chopsticks. Love that sushi from Popeyes!

Tacobellini (Fancy Burrito Supreme)

Tacobellini (Fancy Burrito Supreme) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food Ingredients:  2 Taco Bell Burrito Supremes (beef) 1 beef soft taco 1 large Sierra Mist packets of mild, hot or Fire sauce (to your liking) parsley (for garnish)  Think outside the tortilla. Carefully unwrap the Burrito Supremes and soft taco, and extract their stuffings in a bowl.  Carefully rinse off each of the tortillas, and then briefly steam them in a steamer to soften and moisten them. Then lay each tortilla on a cutting board and cut circles in it using a small circular cookie cutter, or simply an empty tin can measuring around 2 1/2” in diameter. Take the filling and put a small amount in each small tortilla circle, then fold it in half and pinch it into a tortellini shape.  The moisture should keep it sticky enough to stay put.  Pile the tortellinis on a plate. Next, cut open and pour the contents of the sauce packets in a measuring cup, then generously drizzle the sauce over the tortellini. Garnish with parsley and serve with Sierra Mist in a wine glass.

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